1. Name dropping
If a patron mentions that his second cousin was a roadie for Wayne Newton or that he went to the same high school as Ice T’s hairstylist, he should be relegated to the sidewalk.
2. Carousing
Gents, hitting on a table full of women that you don’t know is generally kind of tacky. Unless they’re engaging you, leave the ladies to eat in peace or begone from the dining establishment.
3. Heated political conversations
Nothing is worse for the digestion than someone setting up her soap box and loudly arguing her political viewpoint. Keep it on the streets, and who knows, people might throw money at you in thanks for the show.
4. Cell-phone ringers
When you’re in a restaurant, your phone should be on silent or vibrate so that other diners don’t have to hear your Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom theme song ringtone. It’s only polite.
5. Poor table manners
Eating with your fingers at a fine French restaurant? Dipping your napkin in your water glass to clean up after ribs? Licking your plate? Be gone with you. After all, people are trying to eat.
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